By Sharon Tumukunde.
The terms; Etiquette, Decorum and Protocol are fast fading in meaning and usage, among many Ugandan circles, both in the rural and Urban settings and I cannot help but wonder why?
For those of you reading this article and are wondering what I’m talking about, I will quickly dispense the meanings of these time old words.
Etiquette, according to the Oxford English dictionary (8th edition) is defined as the rules of polite behavior in society.
Decorum and Protocol simply refer to behavior in keeping with good taste and propriety.
If you are fascinated by the Ugandans on social media especially twitter, like I’m, then am sure you caught the full on drama between Uganda’s finest Generals, one retired and another with one foot in and another out. (Pun unintended)
These two great personalities (names reserved) decided to engage in a word fight leaving several Ugandans choosing sides, trying to defend and deflect while others simply feel like something were better unsaid in view of the public eye.
This is quickly becoming the Uganda we are slowly and painfully getting used to.
Various social media platforms are filled with angry little men and women who are quick to trade insults at the first sight of blood or weakness, but when did all this start.
Have we always been this petite?
23 year old University student Jalia Kemigisha, says etiquette is right way of conduct oneself while among others however this is quickly fading.
According to Jalia, good form and acceptable manners among people today, especially Ugandans is no longer “obvious” as people might think.
“Growing up, we used to hear about how our parents would sit around the fire in the night as they waited for supper and their parents would teach those values, morals, folk songs and proverbs while today, Parents and children alike sit together in the living room and are all glued to their smart phones, it’s sad”, Jalia explained.
Elijah Ssekiyivu, a Lay leader at St. Stephen Church of Uganda in Mpererwe says personal and public etiquette cannot be taught in schools or a church but right from the home.
According to Ssekiyivu, western culture has greatly impacted the way we behave, both positively and negatively.
However he notes that in some communities, people are still ignorant of what is expected of them while in public and this has made many communities desensitized to the importance of maintaining good manners.
“Charity begins at home therefore it is our responsibility to spare time out of our busy schedules to remind ourselves that good morals are developed with practice and patient. Whatever it is that you want to be done to you and for you, think about how, you too can do the same for others,” Ssekiyivu emphasized.
Some of the most unfortunate behaviors and attitudes that define us as Ugandans are listed below.
As you read them, kindly reflect upon your own life and see if you have some areas to improve.
Greetings; It is common practice upcountry or in rural areas to greet a complete stranger and ask about the weather or whatever tickles your fancy however in the capital Kampala, greeting a stranger in taxi or by the roadside is tantamount to immediate suspicion.
It is only polite to greet someone, you never know, a kind word just might help bring healing to a hurting person.
Cease Fire on Social Media Groups: If you have ever been ganged upon by others while on Social media especially whatsup then you understand what am talking about.
Acts of removing people from groups or openly exposing their dirty linen on social media is unbecoming and so un-Ugandan, let us endeavor to style up, Please.
Nose picking and Spitting in Public: These two acts, especially in public are crude and very gross but somehow as Ugandans, we think this is okay, it is not.
Try your very best to leave your humble abode with a handkerchief or two to clean your nose properly and if you really have to spit, yuck! Find a safe and private place to do that.
Urinating alongside the road: This is so UG.
Both men and women will unashamedly stop where they can and go. It doesn’t matter who is watching and am not meaning, after a heavy night of drinking alcohol and you have to pee but ordinary people during the day, decide to pee on a random wall, that’s been clearly marked, Peeing here is not allowed, fine 50,000 Ugandan shillings.
It’s like the warning sign is a dare to many Ugandan men and women.
In some rural areas, women just pull their dresses up and pee where they are standing, makes me wonder if they are wearing any panties…hmm!
Gentlemen a dying breed: The world as we know it has changed and the gentlemen as we knew them are an endangered species.
Nowadays, you will hardly find a man standing for an older lady let alone give up his seat for them, in an overcrowded restaurant or over loaded bus, not possible.
We need these men to resurface, it’s okay to be on your grind but remember to be more patient, more resilient, more understanding just like our parents and their parents before them, won the love and admiration of their wives, daughters and country.
Use of polite language; kindly, am sorry, thank you, May I? These words and more are fast fading in our daily vocabulary and in the auto correct section of our smart phones, why?
Learning to use these words daily will yield positive results.
Clarence Thomas, an American lawyer and the second African American to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court, once said good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.
There are thousands upon thousands of etiquette tips to be shared, some are more BOO-ZHEE than others but in the end, we all simply need and want to be respected, right?
Discussion about this post